A Spiritual Light Goes Out While Lighting Thousands More
Published in Counseling and Values, February 2003, the journal of the Association for Spiritual, Ethical, and Religious Values in Counseling (ASERVIC).By STEPHEN SNOW
In applying for the counseling program at UNC Charlotte, one of the requirements is an interview with the coordinator. Last year, a student entered her office and sat down. He had done extremely well on his entrance exam and his academic and personal achievements looked strong.
Dr. Burke, with master's degrees in math and history, a doctorate in counseling and a wall full of awards, looked at the applicant for a long moment, and finally said, "You know, Steve, counseling isn't about being smart."
Sr. Mary Thomas Burke, Ph.D., had an amazing ability to get to the heart of things. At the same time, she had an intense respect for the value of each person. In each person she saw God, and now she is with God. Sr. Mary Thomas died Nov. 22, after a long battle - and believe that she battled - with pancreatic cancer. She was 73, four days shy of her 74th birthday.
In dying, truly, a bright light left us. But far from going out, that light now has moved to everyone she has touched - or will touch. Each of us becomes the new light that she was for others.
She was a past president of ASERVIC. Indeed, she chaired or led nearly every major counseling organization in America during more than 40 years of service. She was recognized as one of counseling's spiritual giants, and was a significant "mover and shaker" in her home community of Charlotte. Yet, she also was an intensely personal and personable woman. A nun in the order of the Sisters of Mercy since taking vows in 1951, she exemplified the characteristics a person needs to be an effective counselor: she was open, nonjudgmental (truly, she celebrated individual uniqueness) and intensely present. She loved the work of Carl Rogers and also had a distinct Gestalt orientation that showed up in all she did; they were not just counseling theories for her, they were a way of living.
Know her for 30 years or 30 seconds and in whatever time she gave you, she gave you all of her.
She believed it was important to make a difference and she exhorted people to believe that they could. She modeled that constantly; her life was a testament to the notion that a single person can make an immense difference and that as counselors we are called into that space, called to step into all areas of need with determined love.
But do not think she was always soft or serious. Or right. She came from a well-to-do Irish family and had a fondness for finer things. "First class," she would say, "only costs a little more."
She could be very demanding. She had high standards and understood that counselors have unique responsibilities in the world and must be trained rigorously.
Her most important trait, though, might be her vulnerability. A true leader, a truly powerful person, she knew she did not have to know all the answers. By showing her weakness, her uncertainty, her own needs, she allowed others to find answers and learn to lead in the process while also feeling her powerful affirmation.
In allowing herself to be truly human, she mentored others in compassion, caring and commitment. Perhaps that, above all, was her greatest gift to us all: she showed us that we, too, could be truly human. And in living fully with our human frailties, we could be better counselors and better people and make a difference in the world.
In the Special Edition of the 2000 Chi Sigma Iota Exemplar (V.15/1), she wrote: "There is energy and excitement each new semester, new beginnings, new students, new lives to touch and join in a dialogical journey. There is the challenge that the many facets of our academic and personal lives will be well-integrated and invigorated, and eventually wholly entrusted to God's judgment as to their final value. I believe the words of Lao-tzu in the Tao-to-Ching are appropriate:
When you find the way, others will find you.
Passing by on the road they will be drawn to your door.
The way that cannot be heard will be echoed in your voice.
The way that cannot be seen will be reflected in your eyes. "
Stephen Snow is a student in the master's in counseling program at UNC Charlotte. You can reach him at shsnow@mindspring.com. Doctoral student Barbara A. Hess contributed to this article. More information about Sr. Mary Thomas, and the new endowed scholarship in her name, is available at the Mu Tau Beta counseling honor society web site web site of UNC Charlotte.
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